The answers lie within

For far too long I gave away my power

Wanting someone else to love me

Someone else to save me

Someone else to hold me

To tell me it was all going to be ok. I got this. I'm great and wonderful and worthy.

For far too long I craved to be seen, heard, validated, accepted by others.

Looking for instruction

Waiting for permission

Relying on the external world to provide some sense of self.

For far too long I searched for safety, for home

Outside of me.

Longing for people, places, things that would enable me to fully surrender and be

That would rock me tenderly

That would nurture my whole being.

For far too long I waited for other stuff to make me feel a certain way.

Expecting that somewhere out there, the answers lay.

For far too long I searched in all the wrong places

I abandoned myself time and time again.

Forgetting the richness, the vastness of what lies within

Forgetting my own power, my own strength, my own intuition, my own heart.

For far too long I lost sight of the value of turning within

I lost connection with myself and my own truths

I forgot the wisdom and love that I hold

The fact that I am the queen of my own life

And that the whole Universe resides within.

For far too long I forgot that I was a human being not a human doing

I chased, I over-thought, I over-planned

Always doing something

Controlled by the mind

Trying to figure out

By constantly doing something.

For far too long I didn't know how to rest

How to be in silence

How to be with myself

I found the belief that it was luxurious, a waste of time, not for me, I had to earn it

Succumbed to the idea that rest was frowned upon, undesirable, unproductive, lazy

I allowed it to lead me to burnout and overwhelm, stress and mental health issues.

For far too long I lost the ability to play, to flow, to find fun and joy, to be delighted by the world around me.

The lights were dimmed

I never saw what was right in front of me

Consumed by something else

And unsure how to navigate out

Never hearing the birds or feeling the sun.

For far too long I lived a life of disconnect

Searching for everything I needed externally

Rather than going within where the answers lay

Giving away my power, abandoning myself, neglecting my needs.

I never trusted myself

I never heard that inner whisper

or felt that internal nudge.

I didn't value or love myself

I had no clue who I was

Everything was external

Wrapped up in masculine energy and mindset.

I didn't fit

I wasn't me

I was so lost

I was so unhappy

No sense of self

No sense of joy

Very little sense of love, belonging, purpose

And so, this has been my journey

Navigating back home to myself

Finding my way back to my heart, my soul, my true self

Unpeeling the layers

Shedding the conditioning

Learning who I am

Unlearning who I thought I had to be

Discovering pleasure

Discovering being in the moment

Finding rest, creativity, play

Getting to know myself and honouring her

Finding the feminine, the inner cycles, rhythms, seasons

Dancing, playing, exploring

Holding myself

Loving myself

And it's all within

I hold it all

It's right here

Just waiting to be cracked open, like your favourite box of chocolates

And I do it all through holding space for myself

Carving out pockets of time throughout my days to pause and be

To notice, to reflect, to write, to feel

Growing my self awareness muscle

Flexing my intuition muscle

Tuning in

Knowing myself deeply

Shifting from outward thinking, doing

To inner stillness, being

This is our power

Divine wisdom

Connecting back to the truth of who we are

What we desire

What we have to share with the world

All the answers lie within

We simply need the time, space and tools to connect in to them.